All I want for Christmas is...
Can you guess?
Well, can ya?!
It's Dec. 7, and usually I have all my shopping done by now for Christmas. And well, I've bought just one gift so far, and that was just lastnight. And yes, it was China-related. (I found a Barbie in beautiful Chinese apparel that I know our 9 year old will love.) We're cutting our spending this year in half as well, which also brings a bit more of a shopping challenge.
So why am I slacking? Why am I just not feeling the Christmas spirit as much as I usually do?
While I'm taking in the true meaning of Christmas like I usually do, I just can't help but feel there's just something missing. And they happen to be half-a-world-away in China. And it just doesn't feel right spending Christmas without them.
While I'm shopping for two kids, I feel as though I should be shopping for three.
I know this sounds weird. After-all, we don't know who our child is yet. When they were born. What they look like. What they sound like. But, all we know is this -- they're out there waiting in China for us, and we're waiting for them, and to think of them spending a Christmas without our love and care is painful. To think that they won't be getting kisses goodnight by mama and baba. They won't be waking up to present-opening on Christmas morning. Eating delicious Christmas cookies at our family gathering. Pulling little goodies out of their stocking. Playing with their cousins. You name it.
Another in-process-adoptive-parent stated their husband said that adoption and the whole process puts things in perspective this time of year. They said, what mattered 6 months prior and was earth-shattering, simply doesn't matter anymore. That's so true and definitely articulates my very thoughts this season. Jesus of course matters. But the presents, the food, the lights, you name it -- it all simply matters so much less when you're thinking about your baby spending this time of year confined to a crib with little attention and without a mama and baba to love and kiss on them.
So all I want for Christmas is our Baby Stump. That's totally not possible of course at this time, but my heart still yearns to hold them in my arms and to kiss their little forehead and cherubic cheek.
What I also want for Christmas is for *every* fatherless/motherless child to have a family to call their own. That they may not go one more day confined to a crib. That they won't go another minute crying for a need that will continuously go unmet. That they will have a full-and-satisfied-belly before they go to sleep. That they will have a mama to kiss them goodnight. That they will have toys to call their own to stimulate their senses. That they will have adequate medical care to meet their basic to more complex needs. My heart cries out for these children. And I know my heart will scream in pain more and more as we go through this process; as the needs of the mother and fatherless become more personal to our hearts.
So what are we going to do?
We'll give towards life-giving care to children that wait. We'll continue treading through the paperwork we have to finish up. We'll continue to pray. We'll also buy our Little Stump a small gift, wrap, and place it under the tree with the message: "Thinking of you this Christmas; praying we have you for the next." We'll save it for them to open when we're back home with them. Ms. Cosette has been aching to buy at least *one* thing for our Little Stump, and so I know she'll love to do this. Micah seemed excited at the idea as well. They already love their little bro (or sis). We'll also make a special ornament to hang this year that says, "We'll hold you in our hearts; until we can hold you in our arms."
And with all this said -- I know it's important to cherish this time with the kids and family we currently have. And in many ways, this time is so precious, as it's likely the last Christmas and last times together as a family of four before adding some crying, messes, and diaper changes into the mix. That will of course be an overwhelming joyful time, but I know I should be soaking in these last moments as a family of four.
So since I can't have it all at the moment -- I'll settle with this for this season::: having our homestudy and i800a sent off to USCIS for approval. Steps forward getting us closer to our Little Stump. And I'll also sit back and cherish these moments with our little family this Christmas season. And, I'll try to stop obsessing over adoption stuff. At least attempt to stop. :-) The hub seems to think I've constantly got my mind in China, and that I should relax a bit more over-all. Easier said than done, but I'll try. :-D I should actually really try to relax, because I have a feeling this upcoming new year for the first several months might get a little crazy. Crazy in a nerve-wrecking-physically-emotionally-and-financially-exhausting-are-we-crazy type of good way.
For those of you adoptive-parents-in-waiting -- I'm praying for you. Those of you holding on to that priceless picture of that little munchkin that you wish so badly you had in your arms this Christmas. May peace cover your heart and mind, and I pray the rest of the process goes as smoothly and quickly as possible. More importantly -- for your precious children as they wait. May their every need be taken care of and that they feel your love through their Heavenly Father's warm embrace.
In closing this post...Merry Christmas to our Little Stump. Wherever in China you may be. Whoever you may be. We're praying for you. We're thinking of you. We'll hold you in our hearts this Christmas -- until we can hold you in our arms.
Can you guess?
Well, can ya?!
It's Dec. 7, and usually I have all my shopping done by now for Christmas. And well, I've bought just one gift so far, and that was just lastnight. And yes, it was China-related. (I found a Barbie in beautiful Chinese apparel that I know our 9 year old will love.) We're cutting our spending this year in half as well, which also brings a bit more of a shopping challenge.
So why am I slacking? Why am I just not feeling the Christmas spirit as much as I usually do?
While I'm taking in the true meaning of Christmas like I usually do, I just can't help but feel there's just something missing. And they happen to be half-a-world-away in China. And it just doesn't feel right spending Christmas without them.
While I'm shopping for two kids, I feel as though I should be shopping for three.
I know this sounds weird. After-all, we don't know who our child is yet. When they were born. What they look like. What they sound like. But, all we know is this -- they're out there waiting in China for us, and we're waiting for them, and to think of them spending a Christmas without our love and care is painful. To think that they won't be getting kisses goodnight by mama and baba. They won't be waking up to present-opening on Christmas morning. Eating delicious Christmas cookies at our family gathering. Pulling little goodies out of their stocking. Playing with their cousins. You name it.
Another in-process-adoptive-parent stated their husband said that adoption and the whole process puts things in perspective this time of year. They said, what mattered 6 months prior and was earth-shattering, simply doesn't matter anymore. That's so true and definitely articulates my very thoughts this season. Jesus of course matters. But the presents, the food, the lights, you name it -- it all simply matters so much less when you're thinking about your baby spending this time of year confined to a crib with little attention and without a mama and baba to love and kiss on them.
So all I want for Christmas is our Baby Stump. That's totally not possible of course at this time, but my heart still yearns to hold them in my arms and to kiss their little forehead and cherubic cheek.
What I also want for Christmas is for *every* fatherless/motherless child to have a family to call their own. That they may not go one more day confined to a crib. That they won't go another minute crying for a need that will continuously go unmet. That they will have a full-and-satisfied-belly before they go to sleep. That they will have a mama to kiss them goodnight. That they will have toys to call their own to stimulate their senses. That they will have adequate medical care to meet their basic to more complex needs. My heart cries out for these children. And I know my heart will scream in pain more and more as we go through this process; as the needs of the mother and fatherless become more personal to our hearts.
So what are we going to do?
We'll give towards life-giving care to children that wait. We'll continue treading through the paperwork we have to finish up. We'll continue to pray. We'll also buy our Little Stump a small gift, wrap, and place it under the tree with the message: "Thinking of you this Christmas; praying we have you for the next." We'll save it for them to open when we're back home with them. Ms. Cosette has been aching to buy at least *one* thing for our Little Stump, and so I know she'll love to do this. Micah seemed excited at the idea as well. They already love their little bro (or sis). We'll also make a special ornament to hang this year that says, "We'll hold you in our hearts; until we can hold you in our arms."
And with all this said -- I know it's important to cherish this time with the kids and family we currently have. And in many ways, this time is so precious, as it's likely the last Christmas and last times together as a family of four before adding some crying, messes, and diaper changes into the mix. That will of course be an overwhelming joyful time, but I know I should be soaking in these last moments as a family of four.
So since I can't have it all at the moment -- I'll settle with this for this season::: having our homestudy and i800a sent off to USCIS for approval. Steps forward getting us closer to our Little Stump. And I'll also sit back and cherish these moments with our little family this Christmas season. And, I'll try to stop obsessing over adoption stuff. At least attempt to stop. :-) The hub seems to think I've constantly got my mind in China, and that I should relax a bit more over-all. Easier said than done, but I'll try. :-D I should actually really try to relax, because I have a feeling this upcoming new year for the first several months might get a little crazy. Crazy in a nerve-wrecking-physically-emotionally-and-financially-exhausting-are-we-crazy type of good way.
For those of you adoptive-parents-in-waiting -- I'm praying for you. Those of you holding on to that priceless picture of that little munchkin that you wish so badly you had in your arms this Christmas. May peace cover your heart and mind, and I pray the rest of the process goes as smoothly and quickly as possible. More importantly -- for your precious children as they wait. May their every need be taken care of and that they feel your love through their Heavenly Father's warm embrace.
In closing this post...Merry Christmas to our Little Stump. Wherever in China you may be. Whoever you may be. We're praying for you. We're thinking of you. We'll hold you in our hearts this Christmas -- until we can hold you in our arms.
