Choosing to Love When It's Tough

I believe in many cases, we're being tested when we're presented situations with tough people (even friends) with which we find it hard to look past (what they did), to forgive (what they did), to swallow our pride and to turn the other cheek (from what they did), and to even *gulp* still *love* (despite what they did).

I believe in only rare cases are we called to completely oust someone from our life. Over a disagreement? No. Over miscommunication? No. Over a text message? Goodness no. We completely abuse the ol' "remove poison from your life" mantra. Sometimes, we need to remove poisonous people from our life, but only after correctly handling the situation with them, and even then, we're still called to love. (Study Matthew 18 if you need guidance on how to handle these conflicts.)

How we handle all these situations reflects our very inner-most-spiritual-core-being.

If we can't even love those who share our Lord as their Savior, how in the world do we expect to love those with extreme opposite religious, political, and other views in general? How in the world do we expect to witness to a lost and dying world? The best thing that can happen to you is for you to be FORCED to learn to love tough people. Do you have to agree? No. But boy, will you *grow* and truly learn *love* in ways you've never understood before when you're tested beyond belief to love really tough people.

Let's face it -- many people make it tough to love them. Some REALLY make it tough to love them. Others make it splendidly EASY to love (try being one of those). Jesus hasn't called us to love the easy-to-love though, in fact, He's called us to love the really-tough-to-love. That's a hard pill to swallow.

What makes it even tougher to love? When people do not apologize. Even tougher? When people *keep* on hurting you. *Gulp* But...we are still called to love.

It's easy to toss the word "love" around. I've known Christians to get in a nasty spat with others, shake the dust off their clothing, and basically state (in a round-about-way), "I love you. But you're out of my life." One has to wonder, "Is that true love?" 

Do you believe in biblical times, people who lived in close-knit communities just totally ousted others from their lives on a regular basis? I honestly doubt it. But we live in a different age where most of our interactions are with people from different cities, states, even countries. We communicate via e-mail/Facebook/Twitter/Etc. We've totally disassociated ourselves from people -- to the point we find it incredibly easy to dismiss others as mere interests in our lives. But I don't think just because we live in "these sort of times" that it excuses us from this and truly loving people.

So what is love? What does love truly look like?

As Christians, we know the very definition of 'love' comes from God-in-flesh, His own Son - Jesus Christ -- who, coming down to this earth, committed the ULTIMATE act of love there ever was and ever will be. To willingly be crucified on a cross for humanity. And as you know, even after being beaten to a bloody-pulp and spat on -- what did Jesus do? Did He righteously scream out the injustices done to Him? Did He spew out unforgiveness? No. Remember? He took it all, and even requested His father to "forgive them, for they know not what they do."

((And imagine, if Paul and several other disciples chose not to love when it was tough. And boy, was it tough at times. They could have easily chose not to love, stay in one place where it was comfortable, and avoid all the sneering, the stoning, and the downright maltreatment and hard-as-anything journeys. They continued on, many, until it cost them their own lives...for obedience; for love.))

All of that to say this --- if our precious, pure, perfect, and holy Jesus Christ can willingly go to the cross for the *very* people who were beating, accusing, spitting, and nailing Him down to the cross -- couldn't we, as inexcusably-imperfect-beings at the very-pathetically-least, forgive a brother or sister, friend, or "frenemy" for some silly words tossed back and forth? To simply ask someone how they're doing that we haven't talked to in a while?

What's sad -- we can't even take our little finger and push 'Like' on someone we "take issue with"s picture on Facebook. You know, the whole "I'll still keep you as my FB friend, but don't think I'll care enough to 'Like' or comment on any of your stuff."

Why am I using the FB example? Because we've all seen it. Experienced it. And quite honestly, it's a great example of some of the most pettiest-unloving-behaviors we can commit.

Jesus went to the cross and even forgave those people beating and nailing Him to the cross, yet we can't even lift our tiny-little-human-finger to lovingly 'Like' or comment (you name it) someone's post on a computer screen. Folks, that's a serious problem. It sounds petty -- because *it is.*

The biggest act of pride is to shun, ignore, and to dismiss people as if they amount to nothing. Jesus calls us to swallow that pride, and to love and forgive anyway -- even when it's tough.

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I Used to Think *I* Was a Good Person

I used to think I was a good person. 

I used to have to "think" about what "sin" or ugliness I was dealing with. I'd say to myself, "I don't lie. I don't envy. I don't drink. I don't lust. I don't [fill in blank]." Boy, even though I may have not been doing "all those things and more" I was still fooling myself to think I was "just fine" or ya know, a "good person." What partially helped attribute to my "feeling fine" was growing up in a church that taught mostly "what not to do" versus "what we ought to do." It's easy to think you're great-and-dandy when you're not doing "any bad things" but when we examine the things we *ought* to be doing is when the ugliness in our hearts really surfaces.

So as time goes on, the ugliness of my heart is increasingly exposed.

Ironically? The ugliness gets more exposed the more I grow closer to Him. Odd isn't it?

As we tread through this process, many aspects have left us vulnerable -- exposed.. I feel as though my heart has been laid out on a table before me, and God is poking and prodding at it. Layer after layer is being pulled back. Nothing is hiding. 

Layer after layer of fake is pulled back. Ugly after ugly is exposed. IS there true beauty and goodness in there -- somewhere? 

The questions. Questions about why we would choose to adopt internationally when we should be adopting "our own here." Questions about surely not adopting a "disabled" child (newsflash:::all are *able*  in God's eyes). Adopting a child that has medical unknowns -- "Why would you do that?" Hints here and there that cuter kids garner more attention and the likelihood of being adopted. Dear God, have us see these children as YOU see them! My, how ugly of people we can really be.

Who are we kidding? Every day we 'Like' a post showing a cute little girl that just happens to have Down Syndrome singing and dancing. It makes us feel all good inside -- throwing a layer of what appears as beauty over our hearts to cover up the true ugliness -- the true ugliness that says that little girl is cute dancing, living, eating, and playing in someone else's home -- but certainly never our own. The ugliness that says that our own comfort and lifestyle and future hopes of blessed-retirement means more than possible life-long-care-giving (even though our retirement's laid up in Heaven). We throw these layers over our hearts to hide what's beneath. The deep-dark-beneath we don't want others to see -- sometimes, what we don't want ourselves to see.

We go back and forth and back and forth again on the special "needs" we're open to. True -- you should only be open to what needs your family can handle. But, are there needs we simply aren't open to because of our own selfishness? Comfort level? The deep-down-ugliness of our hearts? 

Every day we read an "inspiring" story on the plight of orphans finding families or receiving the care they need, foster children finding forever families, etc. We may even 'Share' these stories; again, blanketing a layer of what appears as "good" over a heart of ugliness. A heart that says $30 a month is too much to sponsor a child so they can have food in their belly. A heart that says 3,000 square feet of space is still not enough to add another child. A heart that knows *that* would just make life "harder."

We shout from the rooftops how horrible it is to not allow refugees in our country during times of certain crisis. Yet, when was the last time we invited a needy stranger into our home for dinner?? Ah, but shouting and posting makes us feel like good people. 

Every day we pass by a homeless person. We blanket a layer of 'goodness' on our hearts by giving a couple dollars. The ugliness of our heart hides beneath and echoes that we can't take even two minutes to get to know that person. Tossing a couple dollars is easier after-all -- it makes for a good easy layer to quickly throw over the ugly.

Is true beauty in there somewhere? Is it just buried underneath all the fake and ugly layers in our hearts???

Here is the good news :: There IS true Beauty in our hearts. Christ alone is that beauty. The fake stuff we like to layer on over the ugly? The ugly itself? That's just our fleshly-fallen-human-selves. And all that ugliness and fake -- it's covered in God's grace -- even though we are so undeserving of it.

It's my prayer that God keeps exposing the ugly and fake layers of my heart by pulling them back and that He helps me truly layer on His true beauty, goodness, and grace -- all by edifying and exemplifying Him through all my thoughts, words, and actions. And by laying down *my* own selfish-fleshly-desires, and picking up His. 

*I* within my own self can never be "good." Only HE that is within me is good.

"He's still working on me...
 To make me what I ought to be...
 It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars..
 The sun and earth and Jupitor and Mars...
 How loving and patient He must be...'cause He's still workin' on me." 

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