Father's Day takes on quite a bit of meaning for me. I've been incredibly blessed with an awesome dad myself, and two fathers-in-law to boot. I've written a big Father's Day note on my Facebook about my dads earlier, so I figured I'd save my blog to share with you the meaning of Father's Day to me, when it comes to my husband.
Why does Father's Day take on such a special meaning with my husband? I had my son Micah, before Billy and I began dating. Micah was about 1 1/2 years old when he met him - a little tike still. Sometimes I take for granted what it's meant for Billy to come in our lives.
You see, Billy was just a normal guy (er kid) right out of high school beginning his first year of college, playing on the college's baseball team. He had friends. He had college. He had baseball. He had no children of his own, and I'm sure he had quite a few plans. The last thing on his mind I'm sure was marriage. :-)
Then I came along. We began hanging out - as friends. We hit it off immediately. The first night we went out "as friends" our cheeks were hurting so badly from laughing and smiling so much. It's really odd looking back, because we really didn't have much in common - quite honestly. Our personalities meshed incredibly well though. There was something genuine about Billy - which is funny, because looking back in high school (we attended together), I remember sitting on a hill during a field day with my good friend - seeing Billy play baseball down below and casually saying, "That Billy Stump guy has always seemed nice. And cute." We didn't talk through our middle or high school years, though he claims he had a small crush on me and I made that small comment on that little hill that day.
So what in the world convinces a guy starting college to even contemplate seeing a girl who has a 1 1/2 year old kid? I'm not totally sure, honestly. I'm guessing he thought I was cute and nice - but other than that, I've got nothin'. :-) And you bet I immediately put myself in his parents' and friends' shoes. I know I'd be questioning my son if he began seeing a girl with a kid - especially in that stage of his life.
Billy was taking a writing class that first year in school and had a writing project. He chose to write all about me and Micah - and he had to read it infront of his class. I guess the girls in the class melted when he read it. He sent me the paper. And I immediately saw why they melted. It was incredibly sweet, and I'm sure very rare for a college freshman guy to write about. He wrote detail after detail about our very fresh relationship - but what grabbed my attention the most was how much he wrote about Micah. Writing that he fell in love with his smile as much as he fell in love with mine. Ever since meeting Micah - there was a instant connection between the two. Micah sweetly called him "BB." Billy seemed to love any time he got to be with Micah, and really - when we were with Billy, I'd forget that he wasn't Micah's dad. It felt pretty natural - oddly so. Their connection was so endearing that it worried me really - as I'm sure any single young mom can relate - I mean, what if it ultimately didn't work out? How much would Micah's heart break? Those are some fine lines to walk when you're in those shoes.
I've been told time and time again, that Billy and Micah look like eachother. Act like eachother. And if you see them together and watch them, like nearly everyone tells me, you would never know they didn't possess the same type of DNA. Billy has *never* given me a reason to believe he loves our little girl (whom we've had together) more than Micah. Not once. So much so, it's very odd for me to tell people that Billy's his stepdad. I think it's odd for Micah also. Billy after-all, is just his dad. And, Micah doesn't know life without Billy, since he's had him in his life since he was one.
Father's Day you see, is very much intertwined in our wedding anniversary. When it comes to Billy - there isn't one without the other. Our marriage day wasn't just a commitment between us two, but a commitment between us, and a lil guy named Micah. From that day forward, we knew, Micah would definitely stop calling him "BB" and begin calling him "Daddy." And, as you can guess, he naturally did - without problem. Though I admit, him saying BB was awfully cute.
I don't know if you've noticed, but it seems like a lot of men have natural hearts geared towards adoption. Adoptive hearts of gold, really. Some women of course too - but this just rings extra true with many men. I guess we just take it for granted with women, since we assume most have a natural motherly instinct instilled in them. But take Joseph - he may be the ultimate example of a father figure who naturally takes on the heart of adoption with Jesus. I mean, the man was told his woman was carrying a child that wasn't of his DNA - talk about a tough pill to swallow. If *any* man had a "right" to walk away, it was Joseph. But he didn't. He had a heart for adoption, and I'm so glad he did.
And so, when I think of Billy - I don't just see a guy who fell in love with a girl, I think of a young guy - who had everything going for him - everything to dream of - who fell in love with a young girl, *and* her young son. He, my husband, has a heart of gold - a heart for adoption. A sweet blessedly adoptive heart.
It's certainly a big feat to fall in love with a girl who has a child - but a bigger one to stay committed, which many guys fail to do. Billy and I married over nine years ago, and ever since - I can't begin to tell you how incredibly faithful he's been to us. Before we married, he had planned out finances (even writing up excel spreadsheets) - he was committed to his job, and committed to school. I'd wake up around 4:30 am with him, lay his clothes out, make him breakfast, and see him off for the day - typically not seeing him until late at night again after a full day of work and school. He was committed to us - so naturally, he was committed to his job and school - as those were the things that were going to feed us and keep a roof over our heads.
Again - Billy could've just kept on in college, played baseball, and finished his bachelor's degree living life like most college students do - but he chose us over all that. He chose, quite honestly, the tougher life. Sure, he got to come home to us every day - and he's never once acted like he regrets it, but I know he knows what he chose was the tougher. But I also know, and have heard him say he's better for it. I don't want to speak for him on this, but I look at guys his age - and they're all at different stages in life. Some haven't married yet. Some are just marrying. There's a remarkable difference in maturity in Billy and those other guys. I look at those guys and think "YIKES!" So glad I've got my Billy.
So we love him for many reasons. His heart for the Lord. His faithfulness. His hard work ethic. His humor. His smile. His laugh. His fun good loving nature. His handiness around the house. His easy-going nature. His calmness. His butterfly kisses to Ms. Cosette. His big bear hugs to Micah. His crazy spontaneous wrestling with the dog. His determination. Just his over-all heart.
And so I didn't just fall in love with my sweetheart, I fell in love with the dad of my boy and future little girl. I fell in love with his heart. His adoptive heart. His daddy heart. His heart of gold. And boy, am I ever-so-glad I did.
Happy Father's Day, Daddy (Billy)! We love you. So much. Forever. Always.
(9 - 10 years ago)
Billy is amazing! We are so glad to have him as a brother in law! Love you guys!
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