Shut the Front Door!; Learning to be Flexible to Open Doors

One thing I've definitely learned in marriage, motherhood, homeschooling, and life in general is the meaning of flexibility. I'm sure you can relate in some form or another!


As new moms, we quickly learn the need to be flexible with our schedules -- after-all, it isn't just us we've got to worry about anymore. And I don't care how organized and scheduled of a person you think you are -- kids will definitely rock and overwhelm your everything-has-a-time-and-place-type-personality. There's no scheduling projectile vomit in the car on the way home from Panda Express (after-all, you had no idea your little boy had motion sickness). There's no scheduling a broken wrist at the park. Or scheduling that moment in the store your baby potties through their pants and you suddenly freak out realizing you forgot an extra change of clothes. Flexibility mamas; we're not queens of scheduling so much as queens of flexibility.

I like to think I'm scheduled in our homeschool. But the truth of the matter is that I'm more flexible -- but, that's a bonus! A spontaneous decision to head to a park on a warm sunny day? You bet. Sickness got you down? No problem. Forgot you had four (yes four!) house showings that winter day? No problem -- just pick up the schoolwork and go to Tim Horton's. Homeschooling's unique in the fact that some of us do it partially for the flexibility (and I love it!).

So life happens. Schedules change. Flexibility is a must.

We learn that flexibility helps us grow. And learn. It helps us become better people. After-all, all of life's big changes require some amount of flexibility. Things won't always go our way, no matter how much planning, wishing, and scheduling we do, mamas.
There are times we're a bit stubborn, and we DO want things to go our way, and panic when they don't. Truth be told, I never wanted to move out of state early on. I never wanted to move even an hour from my hometown. I stood firm and stubborn with the notion that moving like that wouldn't be what's "best" for our family. (In the end I became flexible and allowed myself and our family to walk through an open door which led us to Iowa.)

I, as I'm sure you can relate, like to plan things and know what's coming around the corner. I also like stability. And I'm just not a super-duper spontaneous-type person. I've got my ideas of what's ideal, what's best for the family, ya know, the whole nine-yards. Us moms like to believe we're in control and perhaps that's the mama-bear in us. We've got hubbies and families to protect after-all! That mama-bear trait is simply a God-given motherly instinct instilled in us, and it's such a precious gift for us women --- but if we're not careful, the mama-bear in us can get fiercely out of control and also make gods of ourselves. 

 ~A man's heart deviseth his way: but the LORD                                                    directeth his steps.~

In order to do what God calls us to do -- to be who He wants us to be -- we've got to be more flexible. Flexible with every fiber of our beings; flexible in our marriages, with our children, and over-all in life in general. We've all heard "The Lord will shut the door if it's not meant to be." I get that to a degree -- but I look around and through simple observation, it's quite obvious that we as Christians are the ones to shut the doors ourselves. Often. We're not flexible to God's callings. We're not open to them. We're stubborn and we think we know best. Other than being flat-out disobedient to God, we basically make gods of ourselves when we hold the steering wheel like a little brat and tell God to take the backseat. We want full control, after-all, the mama-bear in us thinks we're simply doing what's best for our families.

 - For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither                          are your ways my ways, saith the Lord -                                                                            

I'm slowly and stubbornly learning to be more flexible for Christ, as I have in other facets of my life. I've slowly and stubbornly been letting up the reins and handing it over to the Lord. I want to fully surrender for what He has in store for me and my family -- even if it's not all rainbows and unicorns and hot chocolate fudge sundaes. I want what He wants for me even if it means the storms, low valleys, and unforeseen territory. I'm done controlling. I'm done with disobedience. Shutting doors. Done making a god of myself through mama-bearness. I'm done trying to live life as if it's all about earthly measures; after-all our treasure's stored up in Heaven. And our retirement lays there, not here on earth. 

We sometimes make a habit of controlling our families and children as if they're ours to protect. So when we begin to realize that they're God's property -- not ours, and that they've only been given to us on loan from Him is when we begin to relinquish control over to our Savior. After-all, He knows best. We don't. Yes -- even the mama-bear in us.

 ~There are many devices in a man's heart;                      nevertheless the counsel of the LORD, that                                                                 shall stand.~

So how do we control our families instead of letting God be in control? Here are four key factors I've found that have kept me from letting Him be in control (never too late to change!):

• We don't pray about decisions we make nor consider all options. 
• Everything regarding our plans in life need to be evaluated and prayed over. Your child's education? Pray over all options and sincerely seek out the option God is leading you to. Don't assume one option is your only option. Where there's a will, there's a way. Many parents don't pray over this, when this is probably the most imperative parenting decision we make for our kids. I know I've failed in praying for many decisions in life.

• We constantly look toward nicer earthly things and how we can "get ahead." 
• Perhaps God doesn't want us to get the bigger house up on the hill with the picket white fence. We too often assume God blesses us with "bigger and better," but what if He's wanting to bless us with the smaller? That just doesn't sit well with our fleshly-selves and earthly-minds.

• We either don't seek our husbands' full counsel in decision-making or planning, and when we do -- we manipulate to get what we want (again, "mama-bear" knows best, right?) -- or we simply talk them into it without encouraging their full guidance.

• We don't consider the uncomfortable -- in the end shutting doors God would have us walking through.
• We like our comfy couches, big screen TVs, microwaves, fast-food, and everything that makes our lives easy. I mean -- who wants to make their lives tougher than they need to be? We want to get through life with as much ease as possible. If we look toward biblical examples and God's people in the Bible, we notice a stark contrast in how they lived out their lives for Christ in comparison to how we try to live ours. What's the difference? Of course it's the 21st century, but at the same time it's quite obvious we're stubborn and find it too hard to surrender and become living sacrifices unto the Lord like the apostles did.  

So in the end, we need to learn to be more flexible for God. We quickly learn to be flexible in nearly all areas of our lives (parenthood, marriage, homeschooling, work, etc) -- so much so that we all too often forget to be flexible for God and what He would want for us and our lives, and for the precious people in our lives we quite frankly find too hard to fully trust God with. We may claim God's ultimately in control -- but do we really allow Him to be? 

Time to relinquish the mama-bear and control freak in us and hand it all over to God.